I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
