ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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