Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
