I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
