She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
