i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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