Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
