dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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