96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
