I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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