I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
