dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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