Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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