do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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