It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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