just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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