sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
