I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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