tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
