omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
