remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Are we still banned from the library?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
