OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Is Oprah even human
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
