Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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