I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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