I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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