ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
