Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
