i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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