Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
