you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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