Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
