I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
