like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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