Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
