I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
