I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
