I hate all girls vehemently.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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