dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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