guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
