Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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