i just made my gag reflex go away.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
