Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
