Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
