When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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