those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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