Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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