it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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