so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
