Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
