i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
