you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
