yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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