I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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