I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
