cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
