Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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