ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
