dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
