my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
