We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
