I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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